Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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