Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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