do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
