I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
