I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
