i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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