Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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