I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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