Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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