i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
