coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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