My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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