Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
