then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize