I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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