Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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