i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
