There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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