Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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