CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
