You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
