that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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