OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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