Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
