He asked to "fluff my boner.."
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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