he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
