I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
