i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
