i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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