some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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