We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
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It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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