Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
