wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
