let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
