names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Still dying that you shit outside
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
