He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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