Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
