I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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