I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize