i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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