He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize