He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
