I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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