this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
