i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
