Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Someone shattered a urinal.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I need a beard to bite.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
