Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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