My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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