Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
