one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
