I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
