there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
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There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
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also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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