At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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