Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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