It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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