glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
