And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
