You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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