im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
