White coat. Heels.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
