do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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