Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
