He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize