guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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