is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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